By: Kelsey Pukala, dietitian at Nourishing Minds Nutrition

Note: Body Grief expert, Brianna Campos, is a leading voice with these topics and concepts and has paved the way for many discussions of body grief in the body image community. If you want to learn more about body grief, I recommend listening to her episode on the Nourishing Women Podcast.

I’ve been spending a lot of time lately exploring this idea of body grief. Maybe I’m just late to the party… but over the past year, this has honestly been a newer topic for me to research and discuss with clients. I wanted to share a few things I have learned with hopes that it is helpful for anyone currently experiencing body grief!

First of all, what is body grief? Marci Evans, a very experienced Registered Dietitian who works with Eating Disorders, explains body grief as a challenging emotion. She even describes grief as “emotional death,” which can feel very accurate if you’ve ever experienced any type of grief. Our emotions affect our ability to care for ourselves and experiencing grief is the same. Feeling grief will inevitably affect how we care for our bodies. Ignoring this feeling of grief can make us feel stuck, which is why it’s important to feel the feeling, let the grief in, grieve, mourn what is lost so that we are able to move through the pain instead of constantly feeling stuck in it. This remains true even if we are grieving the idea of a body that we never actually had. We grieve the loss of our ideal body.

This is body grief… whatever causes you deep sorrow, distress and loss about your current body. I’ve told so many clients that the only way out is through. Through the grief, through the pain, through the disappointment and frustration… the only way out is through.

Bri Campos teaches us that you will likely not make it to body acceptance without experiencing body grief. We can’t skip the stages of grief. We have to move through them. Suppressing any emotion, grief included, will likely only make it grow stronger and unbearable.

So, instead of fast-forwarding through or ignoring the grief, what can we do? Similar to Intuitive Eating, body grief is a process of continued learning. Ideally, we would like to start to change the narrative you have around your body and create new neuro-pathways (i.e. how your brain processes information).

If you find yourself caught in the middle of body grief and struggling to cope, Marci Evans lists a few ways to help with this coping process. Please know that if this is you, you are not alone. It is GOOD to walk through body grief and begin to change the way you actually process and think about your body image. I hope these provide some comfort in the midst of a challenging emotion!

Find a mantra that is encouraging. This could be anything that resonates with you like “my body is good” or “I will not always feel this bad.”
Share your struggle with your people. Bringing this up with a trusted friend or family member can be so helpful in sharing the burden. This can also help you feel less alone in your pain.
If you need help, ask for it. Seriously!
Try to engage in one task per day that settles your nervous system. This could be any calming activity that helps you rest and relax. For example, taking a hot bath, reading a book, listening to music, journaling etc.

I’ll say it again… you are not alone in your grief. Body grief is just a piece of the intricate body image puzzle. And we know that body image is SO much more than how we think we look. If you’re feeling a particularly heavy grief, I would encourage you to talk to a professional! Working with a Therapist and/or a Dietitian can be so helpful as you navigate Intuitive Eating and Body Image healing. To learn more about how we are able to help, please visit our services page! And don’t forget to listen to Bri’s episode for more on the subject.