Written By: Kate Clark, from Nourishing Minds Nutrition and The Rooted Place

‘Tis the season for DICAS Match Day!

If you are completely in the dark about what that acronym stands for; Dietetic Internship Centralized Application Services. (Yawn, I know, but keep reading!)

To further translate this for you, DICAS is a program that helps students get placed into a dietetic internship. You cannot become a Registered Dietitian without completing a dietetic internship. DICAS is the organized middle man between you, and your internship. You can also think of DICAS as a teacher you hand your homework into (transcripts, resume, reference letters, personal statements), then sit patiently (for 2 months) to hear what your grade for the class is (match day). Except, there are no real people behind DICAS. It’s a computer system.

If those analogies didn’t clarify things for you, it’s okay. It took me (someone who was studying in this field) years to figure it out. Let’s just say that becoming a Registered Dietitian is about a 102-step process, and “match day” is the day you get accepted… hopefully.

So, there I was sitting on my boyfriend’s bed as I logged onto DICAS. My hands were shaking with nerves but my heart was racing with excitement, it was match day.

I had been pouring hours of my free time into every detail of that damn application.

I did all the good-student things; I visited my dream school and had a private interview with the program directors, whom I had been in consistent contact with for months before. My volunteer hours, GPA, and work history were everything this program was looking for. I had never been more proud of a piece of writing than I was with my personal statement. I had done everything right. I was ready.

The days leading up to match day felt like the days before Christmas morning: filled with excitement and anticipation. There was nothing to be nervous about!

To give you some back story, I had put all my marbles in one bucket, an action I am no stranger to. I felt entirely pulled to one specific program, so I only applied to that single one. No one could convince me that I should look into more than just one school. My intuition was sound. I followed my Knowing.

Back to the story- acceptance letters had already been posted for 2 hours and It wasn’t until I got a text from a friend who reminded me what day it was that I jumped to my laptop and pulled up the match site.

Here it was, the words that would change my life as I knew it:

“We regret to inform you-” I stopped, backed my eyes up and re-read it. It said the same thing “We regret to inform you”. I blinked, twitched my head, and read it again. And then again. I had to read these words over eight more times before I could actually understand what they said; I was not accepted into my dream program. I was not accepted into any program. The future I had been so confidently manifesting was not going to exists.

It felt like a really bad break-up; confusion, abandonment, denial, embarrassment, anger, disappointment, heartbreak … It felt like the end of everything I had been building towards for the past six years.

This might sound a bit dramatic, but to strip it down to the bones; I followed my intuition, and it failed me. It left me in the dust as I watched my friends live “my” dream.

It took me weeks of long walks in the sunshine and phone calls with trusted ones to accept that the specific reality I had envisioned for myself was never going to happen the way I had hoped.

I had meditated on this specific path for so long that I forgot to even consider the option of it not going the way I wanted it to. The shame spiral was strong and the mean girl inside my head (you know the one) was loud.

For a die-hard people pleaser, denial is crippling. Everyone’s “everything happens for a reason, Kate” was just not cutting it.

After being slapped in the face with my worst fear (rejection) I looked for answers. I wanted to make sure this would NEVER happen again. I needed to know why. Why wouldn’t someone want me? What didn’t they like about me? What will make them like me next year?

…what a waste of time that was!

Why? Because I remembered that these were absolute strangers! Random people with power who didn’t know me and didn’t care about me, determining my worth based on their own perceptions and ideas. It’s nothing personal, it’s their job. I’m sure they are lovely people.

I remembered my worth.

Rejection comes in all different envelopes and I want you to remember this: You are not responsible for how you are perceived by others. You cannot and will not impress everyone. The only thing you have control over in this world is your actions, no one else’s. Stand in your truth and be your most authentic self. You are so worthy of great things and there is a bigger, better plan.

Hold onto your blind faith that this is all happening because it was not good enough for you.

Keep following your Knowing and never let the opinions of strangers question your goals and dreams. Hold onto them tighter. Turn them up louder.

Because we need you.