Today on the blog, we have Blayne Andrews, from the Nourishing Women Community, sharing his insight on the healing journey.

Healing is not linear

It’s ugly

It’s messy

It’s tiresome

It’s brutal

But it’s worth it!

The healing journey is something I wish society emphasized more. There’s this false sense of belief that when healing physically, emotionally, spiritually, etc. it’s a one way ticket to liberation! We talk about the growth you experience in the end, but what about the in between steps!? The periods where you feel like there’s no hope and none of the work you put in is worth it. Where you feel the pain of it all more than ever. Where you see no light ahead. What about those periods?

I was someone who grew up never hearing that side of the story. Only seeing the journey from the beginning to the end, with no in between. After I experienced childhood trauma, feelings of no self worth trying to accept my sexuality, and having a disordered relationship with health and wellness my coping mechanism became bottling everything up. I would fill my cup up until it would overflow and the cycle repeated. Not only when dealing with those situations but all situations. In the moment I think that’s what I needed to get by, but in the long run it’s a recipe for disaster.

Eventually I knew I needed more than just holding everything in and I started going to therapy! It’s important when working through hardships to have a support system. You don’t deserve to go through things alone and I’m lucky to have the shoulders of people in my life to lean on. Even if it’s just one person to have in your circle it’s worth it. I couldn’t have made it this far without their love and support.

So the more I went to therapy the harder it all became. It was incredibly overwhelming actually dealing with the issues instead of stuffing them away. The pain and hurt feels suffocating at times. But that’s not how it’s supposed to be I thought!? I thought dealing with my issues would be a walk in the park compared to going through them. Boy was I wrong! Little by little I had to unravel and relive the hardships in order to move forward. It hurt and it still does, but they don’t call it healing pains for no reason.

I wish I could say that I’m at a spot where I feel 100% better. I’m far from perfect and I’m still healing. Sometimes I feel like a phony sharing this side of me because society tells us to share the beautiful happy end, not the messy ugly in between. The ebbs+flows are all part of the journey and I’m grateful for all of it because it’s made me the resilient, strong human that I am. There’s strength in weakness and vulnerability and each obstacle lends us a lesson on how to be a better person for not only ourselves, but the ones we share life with.

Some of the things I’ve learned throughout all of this is to have grace with yourself. Let yourself feel it all and know that in the end the journey is all worth it. I know it’s easier said than done, but we’re imperfectly perfect and there’s going to be slip backs. That’s all a part of the process. Eventually, the slip backs will be less and less and you’ll gain the tools to know how to move forward stronger than before. We owe it to ourselves to heal, to judge ourselves less, and have grace.

Thank you for letting me share my journey Victoria and for all the wonderful work that you do. I hope my words resonate with some of you! I’m always here to talk or lend an ear if any of y’all need.

You can see more about my journey, health/wellness, and my real life moments @east.coast.avocado over on Instagram.